i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize