I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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