I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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