It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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