you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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