cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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