Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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