her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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