they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
It's Friday. Sex?
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
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Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
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Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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