He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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