Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize