Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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