a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
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Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
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If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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