whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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