I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
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Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
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Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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