is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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