There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
