and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
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