Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Randomize