Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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