Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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