He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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