He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
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