i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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