I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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