Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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