So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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