shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize