yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize