Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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