When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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