so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
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He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize