I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
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