And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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