I can tuck mytits in my pants
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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