right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize