so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
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i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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