I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
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there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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