my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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