Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
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Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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