I think scott just propositioned me for sex
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
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