I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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