We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize