you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize