i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
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the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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