Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
where are my eyebrows?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize