I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize