don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize