Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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