only if we run a train.
done.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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