I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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