He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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